last week i was clearing a table at my restaurant. 4 young adults were talking at the next table, probably about something personal. they saw me coming and stopped talking. one of them turned to the others and asked, "can we talk around him". another replied, "sure, he's just a waiter, he doesn't matter".
pure gold.
honestly i didn't worry about the affront to my tender ego. there were no pensive moments of reflection upon my feelings of whether or not i matter in the world. i understood what was going on. in a few seconds you will too.
people talk around waiters all the time. and maids, and house cleaners and other domestics. they are the invisible people, quietly going about their business. it's easy to forget they are listening to you. but they are. the next time you are in a restaurant it may help you to know that your waitress is keenly aware of what you are saying. they also talk about you in the kitchen. you would be shocked to learn how much restaurant people talk about the customers. it's an abusive job and mocking out people sometimes calms the stress. it's a fact of life that i was not aware of before i got into this business.
"he doesn't matter".
but they do. they are watching you. when you leave a bible tract or pray too loud or treat them poorly they notice. they can tell you are a minister or a christian or whatever you are. they hear you talk about them. they feel the patronization. they harbor the complaints. when you send back food or take it out on your waiter they talk about you when you leave. if you don't tip at least 10% they call you cheap. they notice.
some of the worst, and best, customers we have in my restaurant call themselves christians. some are gracious and kind, many others are arrogant and preachy and cheap. they talk constantly, loud enough, about spiritual things and church and other people then leave a 50 cent tip. not all, but enough.
recently i have had several christians from my old life talk to me via email, or at the store, and tell me they are praying for me, thinking of me - but they don't come to the restaurant. don't pray for me, buy something. don't tell me you care, then boycott the restaurant.
i spent years wondering how to reach out to people in my community, only to find out that it was necessary to actually be a part of that community before anyone would listen. i have been astounded to learn that though i believed that as a pastor i was making inroads into the community, even working part time, that i was still an outsider. having the restaurant has given me a chance to meet people on equal footing, to hear and understand for the first time. business people talk to me, to annette, to lori. they tell us about their religious patrons - both the good, the bad and the ugly. they too have opinions.
they also matter. they are listening. make sure you know that.
pure gold.
honestly i didn't worry about the affront to my tender ego. there were no pensive moments of reflection upon my feelings of whether or not i matter in the world. i understood what was going on. in a few seconds you will too.
people talk around waiters all the time. and maids, and house cleaners and other domestics. they are the invisible people, quietly going about their business. it's easy to forget they are listening to you. but they are. the next time you are in a restaurant it may help you to know that your waitress is keenly aware of what you are saying. they also talk about you in the kitchen. you would be shocked to learn how much restaurant people talk about the customers. it's an abusive job and mocking out people sometimes calms the stress. it's a fact of life that i was not aware of before i got into this business.
"he doesn't matter".
but they do. they are watching you. when you leave a bible tract or pray too loud or treat them poorly they notice. they can tell you are a minister or a christian or whatever you are. they hear you talk about them. they feel the patronization. they harbor the complaints. when you send back food or take it out on your waiter they talk about you when you leave. if you don't tip at least 10% they call you cheap. they notice.
some of the worst, and best, customers we have in my restaurant call themselves christians. some are gracious and kind, many others are arrogant and preachy and cheap. they talk constantly, loud enough, about spiritual things and church and other people then leave a 50 cent tip. not all, but enough.
recently i have had several christians from my old life talk to me via email, or at the store, and tell me they are praying for me, thinking of me - but they don't come to the restaurant. don't pray for me, buy something. don't tell me you care, then boycott the restaurant.
i spent years wondering how to reach out to people in my community, only to find out that it was necessary to actually be a part of that community before anyone would listen. i have been astounded to learn that though i believed that as a pastor i was making inroads into the community, even working part time, that i was still an outsider. having the restaurant has given me a chance to meet people on equal footing, to hear and understand for the first time. business people talk to me, to annette, to lori. they tell us about their religious patrons - both the good, the bad and the ugly. they too have opinions.
they also matter. they are listening. make sure you know that.
Labels: christians, church, restaurant
posted by Scott at 2/25/2009
2 Comments:
wow, I've heard many things in my Bad Dog days, but that one takes the cake.
Don't worry Scotty, you matter to me.
I'm often impressed by how tactfully serving staff "interrupt" intense conversations to pour that 5th cup of coffee, serve the meal, remove plates, and so on. It's a good reminder they do have ears to hear.
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