i used to work for social services in ft. mcmurray alberta, canada (it wasn't the north pole but you could see it from there). almost all my co-workers were radically pro-choice. i was radically pro-life. then one day one of the girls i worked with got pregnant. her co-workers gathered around and they planned showers for the baby, bantered names and sex of the baby, etc. the regular stuff. i knew i wouldn't make any friends for it but i went up to them and casually said, 'what's the big deal, it's only a fetus. why would you name it yet, it's not a baby.' they were very offended so i pressed on and told them it was supreme hypocracy that when it's an anonymous baby, it's no big deal. when suddenly they get pregnant it 'magically' takes on life. the problem with the pro-choice argument is that it isn't even remotely a rational proposition. it is entirely a selfish one.

from "The Guardian"

George Bush finally conceded last night that there may be a problem over Iraq's missing weapons of mass destruction when he said he wanted to know why there were discrepancies between pre-war intelligence and the negligible material investigators had found on the ground.
He said he "wanted to know the facts" about any intelligence failures but he refused to endorse calls for an independent investigation.

Mr Bush's comments are likely to add pressure on Tony Blair to comment on why Iraq's banned weapons have not been found. In the run-up to the war he said Saddam Hussein's WMD posed a "real and present danger to this country".

The White House has said it is too soon to rule out finding weapons but it has also stopped predicting it will be vindicated.

in case you have friends like i do, here's where you go to get their pardon started! Canada Pardon

did a graveside service today for an elderly friend who passed away a year ago. always amazed when you spread ashes how much there is. it was cool to see a largely youngish church embrace an 81 yr old widow. they think of her as the church grandma. she is loved and affirmed. that's church.

right now my house is full of musicians, came home from the funeral to find a full band practice going on and more people coming and going. it's turning into a frat house. my boys think they live in narnia where all s think they are cool and want to hang out with them. they come and pick up my kids to go hang out, shop or just jam. i love my kids and love people who love them too. here goes the drummer... brain caving in... but hey, my youngest is soloing on the marshall so it's all good.

I have gone to church for several years now. I know how to talk the talk, I?ve read the books, gone to the conferences. Religion has become ingrained in my psyche. I?m officially on the team? and I hate the way we talk.

From time to time I listen to religious broadcasts in order to get fed. Occasionally I have someone else, usually from my church, in the car.

People in my church aren?t like most Christians. They don?t talk the right way. They don?t tend to understand the historical diction and frequently used statements we have come to take for granted. And they find radio evangelism almost another language.

I have become hypersensitive to Christian speak. I try to hear things with the ears of those who don?t know the language. And what I hear disturbs me. We have a whole language that we have incorporated. It isn?t just religious sounding, it?s ?educated? sounding. We use terminology which is proper but which sounds weird in today?s culture. Several phrases we use regularly are not heard on the streets. Frankly it sounds weird to outsiders.

I trust that the Lord has blessed you and you have magnified.

I had a startling conversation with a pastor at a conference recently. He was from a church of significant girth and status, replete with many staff and visions of grandeur. So I asked him what his church was doing for the poor. And I pressed him. Hard. The answer was � nothing. Oh sure they gave out a Christmas hamper or two and for all I know he donated to Unicef on Halloween; the usual deal.
Since that eventful conversation I have put the question to many other churches, maybe even your church. Usually the results are predictable. Here�s my conclusion � churches really don�t care about the poor. Jesus cared about the poor. In fact he was quite adamant that one of the hallmarks of holistic faith would be a passion for the lowly, the oppressed, the hurting and� the poor. He went as far as to say that taking care of such would be an act of worship to God. "As much as you do to the least of these, you do to me." He said. "True faith", Paul said, was to "take care of widows and orphans." So why is it then that churches have huge budgets, great facilities, wonderful programs, but no poor? You don�t see significant dollars given, there are few or no poor in the pew. Where did we go wrong?
The poor are messy. They are needy. They don�t tend to invest your gift. Many aren�t looking for work. They can smell. If you give them money they may squander it or worse � buy cigarettes. They don�t usually live in "the burbs".
He said to me, "we give something�" churches and individuals are notorious for giving a little something to appease their conscience. My take on this � it�s worse than giving nothing at all. It objectifies the needy into projects without beginning to care for the real person. It enables us to totally disregard true compassion and it actually increases the problem.
How much does your church do for the poor?
I think it�s time that someone called a lie a lie. It�s time we let the cat out of the bag, admit that the emperor has no clothes and owned up to the fact that we have become predominately a white, affluent ministry that is largely self-serving. Most churches I have known are too stinking lazy and selfish to do anything of real value for the people Christ came to seek and save. We love to spout off how committed we are; but try to get people to sell their car and give the money away. Most of us, myself included, are really selfish pigs.
Let�s be godly. Let�s be the church of Christ. Let�s put our money where our mouth is and spend some real time and real coin in real ministry for once. Let�s stop debating the issue and critiquing the fonts. Let�s change the church and change the world.
Disturbed by this blog? Good.

Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was. ~Margaret Mitchell

just dropped jordon off at the airport. off he goes back to the land of -50. i'm sure he's just itching to try and start his car when he gets home. square wheels, dead batteries, brittle seats, what's not to love?

jordon was here for 5 days, battling with my computer, getting pissed off at responses to his blogs, and showing me a ton of blogging tricks. we were revamping the website for new heights as well. he is a brilliant guy and after hanging out with him for those days i realize he is smarter than me... and that really sucks because he's a goofball. no one reads more than jordon and during every conversation he'd ask, innocently, 'well have you read so-and-so's book about that?' like a half dozen times. i didn't even know who so-and-so was but i'd nod my head knowingly, put on my smartest face and act like i wasn't a complete idiot. i'm not sure i was that convincing. i guess i'm just a dumb moron, an average guy and a snappy dresser.

i watched with growing empathy as jordon responded to hundreds of emails from fans and critics of his site and was shocked at how dumb some of the comments were. jordon has been trapped into something he never intended. people use his site for resourcing and banter and call him into account for things he never professed to be an authority on. professors of theology try to engage him in debate, others complain that his personal pictures aren't scaled right for their sunday morning bulletin. more than a few people say things to him that you wouldn't say to your worst enemy. what started out as a personal journal and fun enterprise has become for him a growing movement that he struggles to comply with. gone are many of the blogging freedoms that people like me enjoy. luckily no one reads this so i can say george bush sucks and will antagonize no one except my military dad. he's a snappy dresser too.

from the globe and mail...
"Six justices voted to uphold Section 43 of the Criminal Code, which allows parents and authority figures to use reasonable force on children under their care. But they applied new limits to the century-old law. "

landmark decision in the canadian courts with regard to the use of corporal punishment. i remember growing up and being spanked by my dad. and yet for some reason i managed to grow up normal (debatable). for some reason i don't have the desire to commit anti-social acts of violence... who'd have figured? maybe he was just doing it wrong.
think i'll sign off and go spank my teenager... then again, knowing him, he'd like it... sick pig.

who burned down the white house?

we try to feed the homeless people of mission. usually the team carries bags of socks, toilet stuff, toothpaste and that kinda stuff. we also try to give out blankets, seasonal wear and warm weather clothing. one of our photographers takes pictures of homeless people and gives them portraits for their enjoyment (see photoblog). the team purposely walks the streets with little wagons of chili or whatever, sharing a smile and a hug, often to stoned and drunk overly friendly middle-aged men. our pastor susan gets proposed to by the same three guys almost every week.
once when we were giving out eye glasses to poor people this older man was given something to read. he held it in his hand and didn't seem to even glance at it. we showed him the eyeglasses and he proceeded to put a pair on and got all choked up and exclaimed, "i can read!" it was a cool moment.

ok... i can't help myself...

"I want answers now or I want answers eventually!" homer simpson

Everything i�ve said in my life is a lie...except that....and that...and that...and that....and that...and that....and that....and that....and that....and that....and that....and that....and that.... peter griffin

i had a good friend from just over the border (in the land of lewis and clarke, you know those guys, the ones who made the first cross country trek which just happen to be 11 years after alexander mackenzie did it in canada!). she was scandalized by the apparent insanity of canada...

"Okay so I'm housesitting at my uncle's house and he only gets canadian
stations and I watched a commercial and the husband said oh I need to go to
the store we only have 2 bags of milk.... I was like WHAT??!! bags of
milk... so I called +++++ to see if she knew (b/c together we equal 1
canadian) and I am so freaked out by the fact that you buy milk in BAGS!!
what the heck? Not in cartons, but in bags... so I'm super interested in
knowing if this is universal or just some weird canadian thing and I call
my grandma and she was like yes dear, in Holland if you went to the store to
buy milk it came in a bag.

"I don't even know what street Canada is on."
- Al Capone

thursday morning. some serious damage going to be done to our website www.newheights.bc.ca, today. redesigning is tough. do you go for the flashy flash (flashy flash?) or do you go for the real. most church websites suck. they are information driven and apologetic. they try really hard to be 'cool' and reach out to the culture but tracking results prove otherwise.

as i think about our website i realize i don't have the skills to be the coolest, the savyest... i'mok with that. i simply don't have the ability. i prefer raw and candid anyway, and right now most of our hits come from local people. at least 5 whole people are linked to this blog.

a couple years ago we put out 2 cd's of local and rock music. the production costs careened to almost 200 bucks. the production values were poor. it was never our intention to market the product. we simply wanted to get some of our music into the hands of people who had little or no spiritual or even uplifting music. some of our idealistic artists attacked the cd's saying they weren't professional enough. some arrogantly belittled the project. they didn't understand that we didn't care. it did what we wanted it to do.
last year i got a couple of discs from the agents of the future. the production quality is crap and the music is great. it is very edgy. saw them at soularize 2003. they stole the show (course the house worship band sucked bigtime!).

i think real and raw beats out packaged and slick anyday...

New Heights band practice is in Scott's living room tonight. It is like a worship service in the living room. Kind of cool. They make too much noise for their offices so they are right here. In another part of Mission New Neights is out feeding the poor and the homeless. Sunday night they have a place and a service for the homeless. Their photoblog has a bunch of pictures posted that one of their photographers takes of street people and gives a bunch to them to have. The pictures are great.

I had a conversation with someone about how their church had worked so hard to get the business side of the church right at great expense and cost to the spiritual part of the church. I don't know what the business side of New Heights is (not great) but the relational, spiritual, and social justice side are very alive. That being said, most churches only measure (and then care primarily about?) the business sides of their churches.

The conversation about men and women has turned into a lot of talk about one on one time. I don't think that is really the issue that is the problem. It is the expansion and broadening of that to the point where male and female relationships don't or can't happen because of "what if" or some other reason. Closed male networks and even public gatherings are the norm from the e-mail that I get. I am kind of confused too about some of the ideas that men naturally assume they are going to have an affair if alone with women. That seems to scream out to me as something as seriously wrong. I am ALWAYS accused by EVERYONE who has ever meant me as being aloof initially so maybe it is just me (it bugs me that people think that although I am not the warmest person at times). Maybe it is my past that is always aware of the collateral damage stupid things cause. Or I am just stupid. Most people default to the stupid thing.

As a friend of mine said to me, "Jordon you are such an idealist, of course in your world, people make the right choices. That's why you are liberal." They could be right. It explains my cynicism some days as well.

There is an idea of this idea splitting the emerging church movement. Umm, I don't think it is unified enough to be split. I am just talking aloud but I am Wesleyan in my theology. While I share similar values to my friends, I don't agree with a lot of what they write and think about theologically or a-theologically (wonderful legacy of modernity). I am not talking theologically or worldview but also internet grassroots wise but it is a movement without structure and people wonder in and out all the time. In someways it is a movement like the old EDS herding cats commercial. Most of us put a lot of value in old networks (denominations) as well as the the new. I don't know how unified we are.

From the Globe @ Mail:
Washington � ''We were all wrong'' � Iraq had no remaining arsenals of germ-warfare weapons, no poison gas or a nuclear-weapons program, the White House's former chief weapons sleuth said yesterday, a stunning indictment of U.S. and Western intelligence agencies that undermines President George W. Bush's original justification for ousting Saddam Hussein.

David Kay's calm but candid and sweeping repudiation before the U.S. Senate's armed-services committee will also fuel the political firestorm over whether Mr. Bush misled Americans and the rest of the world when he launched a pre-emptive attack against Iraq last spring. The White House's core claim at the time was that Mr. Hussein, armed with weapons of mass destruction, posed a real and imminent threat to the United States."

...what a surprise...

Tony Campolo, tells about a friend of his who made a career change. He says, "Some years ago, a friend of mine went to teach English literature at a state college. He was there for three weeks when he went into the dean's office to say that he was quitting.
"I'm not coming back next week, and I thought you ought to know," he said. The dean replied, "If you walk out on your contract, you're not going to teach here again. What's more, you won't teach anywhere, if I can help it."
Campolo goes on with the story, saying: After my friend left his job, his mother contacted me by phone and said I had to see him. She was sure he had gone crazy and hoped I could talk him into going back to his job.
I found my friend Charlie living in an attic apartment in Hamilton Square, New Jersey. I must admit that his apartment had a certain style: travel posters all over the walls, a good assortment ofbooks scattered around the room, and the stereo playing a Wagnerian opera. I sat down in a beanbag chair that swallowed me up. After we exchanged niceties, I came to the point.
'What have you done?" I asked.
"I quit," said Charlie. "I walked out. I don't want to teach anymore. Every time I walked into that classroom, I died a little bit."
Campolo says: I could understand him. I'm a teacher, and I know what it's like to go into a class and pour out your heart to students, to let every nerve inside you tingle with the excitement ofyour most profound insights. I know what it's like to passionately share the struggles of your existence, to lay your soul bare in an attempt to communicate your deepest feelings. Then, when it's all over, some student in the back ofthe room raises his hand and says, "Do we have to know this stuff for the final?" (We have some teachers here who know that feeling! I'm sure Jesus must have experienced that plenty when He was teaching!)
Anyway, Campolo goes on, saying: It wasn't long before I realized that Charlie was not about to go back into the classroom, so I asked him what he was doing with himself these days. He said, "l'm a mailman."
Reaching back into the value system provided by the Protestant work ethic, I said to him, "Charlie, if you're going to be a mailman, be the best mailman in the world!"
He said, "But I'm a lonely mailman. Everybody else who delivers mail gets back to the post office by about two o'clock. I never get back until six."
"What takes you so long?"
"I visit," said Charlie. "You'd never believe how many lonely people there are on my route who had never been visited until I became a mailman. What's more, now I can't sleep at night."
"Why can't you sleep at night?"
Charlie cried, "Have you ever tried to sleep after drinking fifteen cups of coffee?"
Campolo says: As I sat and looked at my friend Charlie, I envied him. He was alive with the excitement that comes to a person doing something meaningful with his life. Because he moved from being a college professor to being a mailman, he has lost status. But what difference does that make? As Charlie invests himself significantly in the lives of other people, his is finding fulfillment in, as Scripture says in James 1:27, 'visiting orphans and widows in their distress."
Is he a role ? Let�s be honest� no way. Ya like all our mom�s are telling their kids � you know, you should quit school and become a mailman� no way, it�s a great story but we want our kids to emulate rich successful people. Every mom wants their kid to be a doctor right?

Here�s a question no one ever asks� why? Why the heck do they want their kid to be a doctor� to help people? That�s the standard answer but its crap. Tons of people help others more than doctors for a lot better reasons.

It�s security, wealth, position� a lot of reasons. but helping people? it's easy to help people for a half million bones a year.

And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point. A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; therein they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber-stamps. ~H.L. Mencken

You thought you knew how to manage�and you probably do, if efficiency and productivity are the goals. But if it�s innovation you need, chances are you�re doing it all wrong. the standard rules of business behavior and management are precisely the opposite of what it takes to build a creative company. We are told to hire people who will fit in and get along; to train them extensively; to instill the corporate culture in every employee; to carefully manage what they do; to invest in ideas according to their odds of success, and to slash the percentage of losers. There�s only one problem: None of that works very well. To foster creative teams and companies, we should hire misfits, goad them to fight, and pay them to defy convention and undermine the prevailing culture. And if you want innovation, "managing by getting out of the way" can be the best management practice of all. Weird Ideas That Work codifies these and other proven counterintuitive ideas to help you turn your workplace from staid and safe to wild and woolly�and creative.

took jordon to "lorna's" in my attempt to show him the worst places to eat in the fraser valley. the food is cheap and the ambience sucks. sweet...

later we went to the abbey and to the graveyard for a . you can check out some of the pics in our fotblog: http://newheights.fotopages.com/. the trees were expunging their frozen ice and we were getting bombed left, right and center. i could have died...
it is nice to see the area from an outsiders perspective once in a while. i sometimes forget how beautiful this area is (even if we couldn't see the mountains). jordon especially liked the abbey with the beautiful arctitecture and the pristine environs. i guess Lorna's is attractive in some other way...

ok, it is the cutest dog in the freakin world...
View photo here

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

hey jordon just got our very own phot blog up and running. you can check it our by clicking the link on the left or go to http://newheights.fotopages.com/

brander put up a personal fotoblog of his pics from life at new heights. you can check it out at http://www.strongraven.com/Rockin'%20The%20Flock.htm

a good friend of our church, brander mcdonald, has a website which is aimed at aboriginal concerns and the healing arts. brander is a native elder, articulate and artistic. a bunch of his stuff hangs in my front room. he is a guitar teacher and does native awareness workshops, art experiences, aboriginal and non-aboriginal counselling as well as a bunch of stuff i'm still trying to get my head around.

http://www.strongraven.com/

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity
- Bill Vaughan

ok, so jordon comes out from saskatchewan where it is -51c this morning and suddenly now it's hailing here! the price of his friendship may be too high.


When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.
I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
-- Steven Wright

tuesday morning. may be a Rocko's morning.

quote for the day: My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
-- Steven Wright

sweet. been there.

I�ve come to an important conclusion lately � I don�t want to be a senior pastor anymore. I�ve been there, done that and I�m done with that. I just want to be a member of the team. But I still want to get paid�

I�m tired of being the �man�. I�m tired of carrying the weight of the church on my shoulders; of feeling like the buck starts and stops with the senior pastor. There is a dysfunctional dichotomy in church circles, a separation by position which has been the cause of much hurt and confusion. I�m done with it.

I�m no theologian but as I read the new testament I read about gifting, not positioning, of calling not hierarchy. We are all part of the body of Christ, each serving in different capacities, none subservient, none elevated. As a paid pastor I hold a position of calling, of servanthood, of trust. Does this then entitle me to separate myself from the laity as an authority by position, as over and above?

At New Heights, in many ways, I�m just one of the kids. I hope to be respected as a spiritual elder, as a bible student, as a mature man of God called to this place for this time. I don�t want to be thought of as special, as better, or as the authority on issues for which I have no expertise. I need to be able to submit myself to those in authority over me even though they may be laity (your word not mine). I have spiritual fathers in our church, one of whom at least I need to submit to in areas concerning theology and ethics. Our other pastor, Susan, clearly has forgotten more about creating community then I will ever know. Many people are more mature then I am and understand the heartbeat of God on a deeper level than I do. Debbie Deyo is a major prayer warrior. The list goes on and on. I won�t pretend any longer that I am an authority on these things.

last sunday greg spoke. he was on a roll. i sat stunned as he had the entire church standing and cheering. it was very cool. after i got several emails asking me if i was 'threatened' by greg doing such a good job.... whatever.

it shocks me how insecure some ministers and leaders are. get over yourself already. so what if the kid were to take my job. i'd be ok with that. for goodness sake, i hired the guy in the hopes that he would be able to be a frontrunner. why would i want a lame=o on my team. he can have my job if it came to that. it would open up a new adventure, that's all. some people may desire job security. i like freedom. i really hope he blows me away next time he speaks too. then i get to spend more time playing with media!

dim red lights, people playing cards, eclectic music. that describes our sunday night street jam. people from all over town bring their guitars or just come for the free food and hang. a range of music styles and volumes. every time we do it we discover a new talent hidden from us until now.

i am especially proud of my 13 year old who comes to play his electric guitar with the pros, picking up pointers and stretched imaginably every time. he has found community and won't miss a single event. and he's very good. he plays any bar chord with ease and is experimenting with leads and scales. tonight his guitar teacher and hero took him under his wing. at one point he was the only rthym guitar player for a song he had never heard of in the key of b flat. 13 years old. by the way if you like guitars, he drives a godin with a marshall practice amp. very sweet. has a cry baby waa waa and 3 pedals including the hypermedal. nathan went to the canucks game tonight with martin, our newest seeming addition to the family.

this week we paint the old office downstairs black with a black ceiling, look for cheesy velvet paintings and set up the drum kit, the guitars and 2 air hockey tables for our newest mini studio. i have enough p.a. equipment that i could have several studios. should be fun once it's done and get a load of crap out of my front room.

this morning our newest pastor greg spoke. it was amazing. he had the audience clapping and hooting and as we built up a musical crescendo behind him he just went nuts. starting to see some real beautiful stuff in the multi-media angle happening and we rarely speak straight through any topic without some cool break. thanks travis from highway video for the vid 'freedom' it rocked their world this morning. hammed it up with 'ordinary day' by great big sea this morning. had the folks dancing. threw out the order of service a while ago. like the freedom.

so after a huge gig last night that found me resetting the office p.a. up at 12:30 am, wild church this morning, a get to know you potluck at my place at noon, counselling in the afternoon and street jam tonight... i am done.... well after i clean up the lunch mess. been a great weekend but glad its over. time for a little 'family guy' on the boob tube and maybe some junk food. nate and martin will be home from the game shortly and they'll be happy the canucks ruled but sad that the guy they love to hate -- sopol-- scored two goals. lots of head nodding ahead as i try to pretend i care.

the puppy is systematically pulling plastic forks out of a bag and hiding them somewhere...o great

our new puppy snores. he has nasal problems. he may be 10 inches tall but he snores like a teamster.
last night we had music practice in my front room and workedon a sweet rendition of 'ordinary day' for sunday. real celtic feel with mandolin and accordian, electric and accoustic guitars and lots of toms on the drums. wicked cool but we didn't call one person so will have to connect with them later.

check out brander's website on www.strongraven.com for some interesting insights about art, music and native culture. he's learning front page but going to get jordon to take a look at it and give suggestions when he visits next week.

our evening jam session crowd is about 70-80% aboriginal people so have been learning a bit about culture. they listen to alot of80's music, at least our sunday night crowd does so working on "takin care of business' for sunday pm. have done it at a few weddings but need to re-read the words. should be fun. saturday night we also have a gig in chilliwack for wilf lambert's 60th birthday. hope he knows what he's getting himself into lol.

areal absence olately of edgy/alternative christian worship out there so commissioning some guys to write some. everything is so mainstream at the christian bookstores that i find myself actually becoming angry after 2 hours of listening to the 'same old same old'. haven't heard a decent edge band since agents of the future last year.

its' brutal to try to find actual good music to use for worship if you don't fit in the 'contemporary' mold. still praying that linkin park gets saved!...

anothe night at the guy house. drums and airhockey, guitars everywhere and me trying to pretend things aren't cluttered. people dropping by, one even sleeping over. pizza for supper, homemade sorta chocolate chip cookies, computers whirling, waa waa peddle on the coffee table, marshall amp on the kitchen floor. dog poop hidden somewhere in my bedroom... somewhere.... freakin puppy. the power went off today and the first thing i did was look outside and hope no white city van was parked by my meter... nope.. another good day. family guy on tv, maybe a little king of queens later, buds coming over to jam later... another normal day at my house.
working on this laptop installing and uninstalling spyware profiles etc, trying to clean up a mess for a friend, totally infected computer. it simply doesn't do to go without spyware protection as well as at least two virus programs. i personally use adaware, spybot, popupstopper, panda and norton systemworks. systemworks works amazing.

website is down. what?

monday. laundry and groceries and making bread and cleaning this pig stye. problem is cleaning up the front room around the drum kit and the 4 guitars and the mandolin and the air hockey table. yes it is a guy house! Experiencing a great deal of angst lately. finally after a ton of years i'm interested in hockey again and our team sucks! 0 for 6 at home. as usual my timing is inpecable!

experiencing a great deal of freedom with nathan driving. almost like it cuts out like 20% of my parenting responsibilities. wonderful. course his car runs like crap but what do i care!

working today on some personal correspondence, booking a ticket finally for a friend who is coming out to fix our website, and writing a bit. realized yesterday that i lost my favourite poetic creation when my computer melted. not happy about that.
ben is really becoming amazing at guitar. he has found a niche. our buddy martin bought him a little marshall amp on saturday and he hasn't shut up since on the freakin thing! as a parent it is a great joy to see him win at something. i'm used to nathan being the superstar. quite satisfying. (the bread machine kicks in...)

actually didn't mind snowboarding on saturday. sunday went ok. first time ever i didn't prepare any notes for the talk and seemed to go good. nerve racking but challenging not to get sidetracked or fluff anything. kind of a red neck sermon that my buddy rob came up to me after and said, 'that took balls.' would never have talked like that in public only a few years ago. talked about 'reaping what you sow' sexually, relationally and spiritually. dangerous when you consider the number of serial marriages and common law relationships in our church. the presentation on the aids orphanage in thailand really rocked nathan's world and caused him a great deal of pain and discomfort. he couldn't sleep last night. angry and frustrated at his culture and himself. very good thing but hard to watch. wants to go to counselling now. don't mention i said anything to him. plans on going to thailand in august. will rock his world. god really is whacking him around lately. the same can not be said for ben but he is only 13. his day will come.

talked one of my best friends into leaving his common-law relationship but now he's sleeping at my house! you reap what you sow... hehe.
spent a great deal of time re: my single status lately and actually said in my talk something to the effect that 'many of you have told me to get on with a new relationship and a new outlook. well guess what? it's none of your business!. ouch. saw a few people get up and leave. wouldn't be sunday unless i pissed a few people off!

other thing i have been dealing with is my caustic nature. got a great honest letter from an accountability partner about temperment issues that really has me thinking, pondering and praying. wrote a chapter in a long-term book i'm sorta writing about the 'marginal leader.' painful to write. impossible right now to share with anyone. i hate to admit it but i may be growing up... don't tell anyone.

first and foremost i want to say, "hi mark!" your dog washing pictures were funny. tell your mommy to send me baking!

thursday morning, sitting in the office, playing with someone's new lab puppy and remembering that if i don't stop by my house sometime this morning that our new puppy will have a few 'bombs' of his own to share with my carpet. he is the world's cutest puppy by has nasal problems because he is a mutant purebred (similar to myself) and snores all the time. so much for trying to get any sleep when he is in the room.
i have a son who is driving. this morning he took his brother to school than picked up a few fellow hoods and they jazzed down to mickey d's for a quick breakfast before school. a whole new world has opened up for him this week, and he is mezmorized by his new found freedom. for my part i no longer have to pick him up from work, drive him snowboarding or to school. i am enjoying my new found freedom as well.

my good buddy mark greenshield's mom died yesterday. may was a devious and wonderful woman. i remember one time after i had spoken in her church in saskatoon she came up to me, now in her late 70's, and pulled me aside and whispered in my ear, "you're not as good as you think you are". i stood in stunned disbelief, then she winked at me. i almost wet myself laughing. she told one of our other pastors, susan, not to let "that boy push you around". she was awesome. you just knew she was carrying around a crap detector and it was loaded for bear.

there is a woman's bible study/hen party going on outside my office so i just closed my door so that no estrogen will get flung at me.

when i say office i really must clarify. i gave up my office because i hate desks and moved out to the couch in the main room. but unfortunately i melted down my laptop so now i have to come into susan's girly office and use the computer when there is a need. i'm just careful not to open any of the drawers and examine any of the contents too carefully. i wouldn't want to get cooties.

going with a hundred or so youth snowboarding on saturday. i have tried so hard to love snowboarding but living for so many years in the north has scarred me. i will never admit it to my kids but it's just not working for me. i hate snow. i hate snow. and yes, i hate snow. it's something i can do with the boys but when i'm honest.... i hate snow. not only that but i hate snow. snow sucks. and i hate it. snow that is. really. i hate snow.

spending most of today setting up for a punk concert this evening at heritage high school. a fundraiser for the senior class. 4 bands, and about 6 hours of setup time. i have become quite the techie these last years, unfortunately not by choice. we regularly do gigs all over the place. i work with two different bands and usually end up humping equipment more than i would like. that doesn't include church gigs. last sunday nite we had our street jam for homeless people down at the office. we get up to 70 or so people some nights and a few have started bringing instruments to join in. it's also a good place to let our young musicians get practice in front of peeps and with the more experienced musicians. my son ben and josh schick have both been able to play with some professionals. would love to see quite a few more young kids get the opportunity. one of our musical gods, toby deyo, told me that he really got into it because he, at the age of twelve, was allowed to play in the band. it really peeked his interest. he is easily one of the best bass players in the fraser valley. incredible actually though funny lookin.... lol.

better do some real work.

just had the wierdest experience. i was reading an 'emerging leaders' forum and all of a sudden i realized they were talking about me. it was totally funky. they were trying to find the email for some guy named scott who was in minneapolis and had a 'sample platter' of video resources. it was too freaky.

feeling better lately, more and more healthy. wondering about what god and life has next for me. i am experiencing a good deal of unrest lately about my ministry and effectiveness. usually that is a good thing for me. it tends to push me and get me thinking visionary thots again. i'm looking forward to what is coming.

we have a new dog named 'chainsaw' who is a mini pincher and stands about 12 inches high. he is a freak.

i have not been working on the website at all lately because i'm busy booking a flight for my guru buddy jordan to come out and rethink through it with me.

saturday and the snow is finally almost gone, we had nearly a week and a half of winter! the blossoms on my magnolia tree are officially dead and the backyard is a mess.

doing the labyrinth at station x tonight, office looks cool with wicked sets for it, far beyond what i have seen before. should be a mystical experience.

been re-examining the entire emergent culture with special time spend on the whole youth culture. we are missing something important and i'm trying to put my finger on it. there seems to be a lack of authentic enthusiasm and a divesting of involvement. i feel as though i'm on the brink of discovery but get impatient not jumping to conclusions. i have been reading, asking and thinking about the issues of media involvement, community and culture. something is going to come...