Why do hot dogs come ten to a pack, but hot dog buns only eight to a pack?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
What if there weren’t any hypothetical situations?
Why are there Braille numbers on the buttons of drive up teller machines?
Kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Why?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
Why can women wear an evening gown to a night club, but they can’t wear a night gown to a nightclub?
How come whenever I think about the past it brings back so many memories?
What is the fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot?
If you didn’t know me, would you think I was a stranger?
How deep would the oceans be if sponges didn’t grow there?
How come there are two ways to spell one, three ways to spell two and only one way to spell three?
Why do all nonconformists dress the same?
It’s said, “You know what they say...” What I want to know is, who are they? And just who do they think they are? Why are they 3rd person plural?
What if birds were tickled by feathers?
Why are green berets red?
What is off white?
Why do all the Looney Tunes characters have speech impediments?
If Pluto’s the dog, what’s Goofy?
Mickey Mouse wears pants and no shirt; Donald Duck wears a shirt and no pants--what’s up with that?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Why are they called apartments when they’re all together?
Why do women go to the restroom in groups?
Why is it, when someone thinks the milk’s gone bad, that they want you to smell it?
When sour cream goes bad, how can you tell? Isn’t it already sour?
Why is it called rush hour? No one’s getting anywhere in a hurry.
What happened to all the erasers off the miniature golf pencils?
Where can I get unscented perfume?
How come two wrongs don’t make a right but three lefts do?

Why do ballerinas stand on their toes? Why not just get taller women?

Were any of the prophets peripheral visionaries?
When they asked Washington for his ID did he just take out a quarter?
When you jump in a lake, do you get wet or does the lake get you?
If Olive Oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If a Smurf is choking what color does it turn?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they bother to announce power outages on TV?
When sign-makers go on strike who makes their placards?
Why do people carpet the lids of their toilet seats?
If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don’t you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
Why do they call it a building when it’s finished. They should call it a built?
The opposite of pro is con. Does that mean the opposite of progress in congress?
Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on hold on the phone you hear a radio station?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but not to use the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
Why do people get their tires rotated? Don’t tires rotate on their own?
A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station where a train stops. Is that the real reason we all want a work station on our desks?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If they arrested the Energizer Bunny would they charge it with battery?
Is it true that five out of four people have trouble with fractions?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
If a tin whistle is made out of tin what’s a fog horn made out of?
If quitters never win and winners never quit how can I quit while I’m ahead?
Who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Why is it that the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom?
Are Lipton employees allowed to take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow how cold is it going to be?
If Americans throw rice at weddings do Orientals throw hamburgers?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why do they call it the department of the interior when it’s in charge of everything out doors?
Why is it that if you tell a man the world is round he’ll believe you but if you tell him a bench has wet paint he has to touch it himself?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to cure it?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as 4's?
Whatever happened to Absorbine Senior?
If Ben Hur changed his name to Ben Him would he be Ben Gay?
Why do they put locks on stores open 24 hours?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts", and you put your two cents in what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets its picture take, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. How could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
No one ever says, "It's only a game", when their team is winning.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
What ever happened to preparations A through G?
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin.
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it that to stop Microsoft Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
How does the guy who drives the snow plow get to work?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your head lights on, what happens?
Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

17 days

As influential as they are, megachurches aren't the whole story of American religion. To get a complete picture of church growth in the 1990s and new millennium, we need to look at overall church attendance patterns. Traditional pollsters conduct telephone interviews and expect people to be honest about their religious practices. According to the numbers gathered this way, we're still at a 40 percent attendance rate. But pollsters who actually do seat counts and take exit polls tell a different story. The average weekly church attendance when measured by actual "bodies present" was at 17.4 percent in 2006, down from 20.4 percent in 1990.6 David Olson of TheAmericanChurch.org remarks, "You'd have to find 80 million more people that churches forgot to count to get to 40 percent."

The upshot? For all the money, time, and effort we've spent on cultural relevance—and that includes culturally relevant worship—it seems we came through the last 15 years with a significant net loss in churchgoers, proliferation of megachurches and all.
No sad songs. No angry songs. Songs about desperation, but none about despair. Worship for the perfect. The already arrived. The good-looking, inoffensive, and nice. No wonder the unchurched aren't interested.

the mother of worship evangelism is saying it's basically now a myth, sally morganthaler, speaks here.

Christianity has taken a lot of hits over the years. There was that whole Crusade thing, which in retrospect really didn’t turn out that well for us. We’ve been involved in inquisitions, witch burnings, suppression of minorities. Hitler claimed that God was directing him. So did the IRA. The British believed that it was there God given right to oppress India. Most of the people with baseball bats who were attacking the blacks in Selma were Christians too. At least in name and culture.

You see, that’s the problem with Christianity. It’s become a cultural thing. If you ask the average person on the street what a Christian is they will talk about Jesus Fish bumper stickers, and tithing, and not having any fun. They think of Christianity as a cult. They really do.

Christians listen to Christian music, not good music. Christians don’t smoke drink or chew or go out with girls that do. Christians are uptight, and judgmental, and narrow minded. Christians don’t like gay people. TV Christians are rich and tacky and basically evil.

Even within the Christian world itself it’s hard for some of us to identify with Christians. The Christians leading the charge have it together, and they don’t struggle like we do. They are pushy and close minded and being a Christian sometimes feels like a list of rules, more than a relationship with Christ.

Christians are supposed to believe in the in pre-tribulation rapture. Christians vote conservative and don’t care about the environment. Evangelicals have to believe in the inerrancy of the bible. Basically Christianity is about believing the right stuff.

I’m finding that I want to be called a Christian less and less, and an evangelical not at all. Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in Jesus, I still want to be sold out to him and his cause. I just feel like there is so much baggage with that title. So much narrow-mindedness.

I don’t care if the rapture happens in my lifetime or at all. I want to still be friends with people I don’t agree with. I don’t want to feel obligated to listen to bad Christian music or send my kids to Christian schools or home school. If I was an American I would definitely not vote republican. I don’t think the bible was intended to give us a template for creation. I don’t believe the world is 6000 years old. And the worse part is, if you have been raised in the narrow Christian worldview, some of that might really bother you. You see, you’ve been DNA’d, if you are a Christian, to be offended if people sound different...even about things that don’t matter.

at least i'm not an atheist...

thanks to van for the tagline. u the man van.

what happens when you swim too long in a shallow gene pool...

i know i haven't been blogging. but in my defense, i bought a restaurant. and i thought church planting was hard...