for six weeks or better now we have been on this new adventure. i never have time to blog or hang out or even eat properly. i have never been this busy in my whole life.

every day the local poor can be found at our restaurant. they come in for a free soup and sandwich, which we try to serve with dignity and respect. we have rubbed shoulders with virtually all the local homeless and destitute... and the results are shocking.

all my life i have believed in caring for the poor. i have tried, in my own little way, to make a difference in the lives of the powerless. i have romanticized the plight of the poor and condemned those who only give token ascent to their issues. i continue, more than ever to believe in the necessity of helping those less fortunate. but i have also discovered something i did not really acknowledge before - a lot of them are asses.

the percentage of jerks who come in for our handout seems to be far higher than the general population. i understand more than most the problems of socialization among the poor. i am cognizant of the difficult time they have merely surviving. but this does not negate the fact that though there are many amazing poor folks, there are also a great deal of idiots - ungrateful, pushy, belligerent, demanding, conniving and dishonest idiots who think nothing of complaining constantly about their free gourmet meal, or of thowing soup in your face. they yell when you ask them to obey the law, they push around the female staff, they are confrontational. it is no wonder that so much of the middle class is hesitant to help. they are intimidated by the apparent lack of anything resembling social sensibility.

don't get me wrong. i am not advocating anything. i am merely pointing out the dark cost of actually being involved in people's lives. people are messy, they are selfish. they are sinful.

and yet tomorrow i will get up and go make sandwiches again and try to smile and realize that i am really doing very little to actually help. maybe god will give me more patience with some and allow me to speak hope into the lives of others. or maybe i'll just hide in the kitchen and make lori do the real work.