Growing up I almost never went to church. It’s not that I had anything against church, it just wasn’t even on my radar. If you listed the things I had to do, church wouldn’t even be a consideration. Church was where adults went and listened to bad music and worse preachers. A couple times a year my dad would drag us into a service with promises of a happy meal at McDonalds and a pocket full of candy. Within a few minutes the candy was gone and we knew we had been had, so we usually drifted off to sleep or drew all over the bulletin or I punched my sister a few times. I can still remember hearing a pastor talk about how in heaven we would get to sing those horrible songs and play church forever and ever and I wondered why anyone would want to go somewhere where you had to do this all the time without the promise of a happy meal or candy.
But I went to bible camp every year; for a couple of reasons, but mainly for the girls. Every July I tried to pick up a different girl for that 5 day summer camp love affair. At the end of the camp I would inevitably swear undying love and promise to call and visit, but usually I just tried to avoid the chick until next year, and then hope she didn’t show up at camp and ruin my perfect dating streak. I was a real Christian. There were other parts of camp I liked as well, the swimming, archery, boating, sleeping in a cabin. And every year on the last night they would roll out the alter call and I’d get saved again. Asking Jesus into your heart was just something you did every summer. We all knew on the last night you would be told about how hot hell was and some dude would remind us that we could be in a horrible accident on the way home and be cut in two and this, this evening children, could be the last opportunity you ever have to make sure you are going to heaven. And since we all knew the guy wouldn’t stop talking and we couldn’t have snack until we all went forward, we all went forward.
It was just what you did at summer camp. And every year I’d get another free bible and be told what to do with it when I got home, but mainly I just threw it in the drawer and waited to get another free bible the next time I went forward. Years later my best friend Glen and I found that bible paper made the best rolling paper; and we would smoke those old bible camp bibles and laugh nervously and wait for God to strike us dead for blasphemy. But he never did.
I went to church in high school because I was in boarding school and church was required. I went later because my girlfriend was into it. Eventually I ended up in Bible College because my wife was offered a job there and I pretty much had no other plans. A couple of years later I started a church. And then another and another and another… Some people know from childhood they will be a minister or a scientist or an astronaut. I saw no bright light and there was no angel choir. At first I just fell into it, now I can’t seem to escape it. I may own a restaurant or be a social worker, but down deep it’s this other thing that defines me. I tell people that God and I have an agreement that neither one of us is very happy about but neither is prepared to end the contract. Pretty spiritual huh?
A few years when I walked away from my last church I gave up my ordination and my denomination and left it all behind. Many people have speculated why I would do that, only to later join another tribe and be credentialed once more. There were a lot of mitigating factors but chief among them was this nagging fear that I started churches because I had nothing better to do. I wondered if I would even be a Christian if I weren’t paid to play one. If you have never been professionally religious it’s hard to explain.
A little while ago we started clubchurch. People asked me why I would do this again and I guess the truthful answer is… I just had to. It’s who I am, regardless of the pay or the position. There is none of either.
